EMDR Therapy: But What if I Don't Want to Talk About It??

Trauma Processing Through Barriers

Talking about your trauma is hard. It can feel embarrassing, overwhelming, or even shameful. So how does anyone begin to heal if they don’t want to talk about it?

Honestly, many people don’t — at least not right away. And that’s okay.

But here’s the good news: there is a way forward.

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Healing With EMDR Therapy, Without the Details: The “Therapist Blind” Technique

In EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, there’s a powerful approach designed exactly for this situation. It’s called “Therapist Blind,” and it allows clients to process a specific traumatic memory without sharing much (or any) detail about the event itself. This technique is incredibly helpful for memories that feel too painful, private, or intense to put into words.

How the Therapist Blind Technique Works

The “Therapist Blind” approach follows the same structure as standard EMDR, but with one key difference — the therapist doesn’t know the content of the memory.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

1. Selecting the Memory

   You identify a memory you’d like to work on — but you don’t have to describe it.

   
   

2. Focusing on the Image

   The therapist will ask you to bring the memory to mind and notice the image that represents the worst part of it. Normally, you’d share that image aloud, but here, you keep it private.

   
   

3. Identifying the Belief

   You then notice what that image says about you as a person. This part can be a little harder, so some people choose to share it out loud.

   • For example, if the image makes you think, “It’s my fault” or “I’m responsible,” the therapist might gently check whether that belief is factually true.

   • If it’s not (you didn’t cause the accident, you didn’t push someone off a cliff), then it’s an irrational belief — and that’s the one you’ll process.

   • If it is factual, then you’d explore a deeper, underlying belief such as “I’m a bad person.”

     
     

4. Finding a New Belief

   Next, you identify what you’d rather believe about yourself — something more compassionate and grounded in truth.

From here, the EMDR process continues just like it normally would. The only difference? The therapist doesn’t know the specifics of your trauma — and that’s perfectly fine.

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Why It Matters

Healing doesn’t always require full disclosure. Sometimes, the safety and privacy of keeping details to yourself can make the difference between avoiding the work and engaging in it.

The “Therapist Blind” technique honors your boundaries while still allowing deep, meaningful healing to occur.

You don’t have to talk about everything to move forward. You just have to take that first step — even if it’s a quiet one.