The Jenga Tower of Trauma

Understanding How EMDR Helps Rebuild from the Ground Up

When people come to me for trauma reprocessing with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, one of the first questions they often ask is:

“How do we know what to target?”

It’s a great question — and an important one.

During the history-taking phase of EMDR, we begin identifying the specific memories, experiences, or negative core beliefs that contribute to the client’s current struggles. Sometimes, these “targets” emerge naturally during conversation and other times, it takes a bit of intentional detective work to uncover the deeper layers.

Once we’ve identified the key memories connected to the current concern, we can begin the reprocessing work. To help clients understand what this process looks like, I often use a simple metaphor.

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The Jenga Tower Metaphor

Imagine that each person carries within them a Jenga tower of symptoms or struggles — a stack built from terrible experiences, traumatic memories, and negative beliefs that have accumulated over time.

Each block in this tower represents a piece of the person’s emotional and personal history:

• Single-Incident Traumas

• Dysfunctional or Neglectful Relationships

• Negative Messages received over time

  
  

The blocks closer to the top represent more recent experiences.

The blocks at the bottom are the oldest — often foundational memories that quietly support everything built above them.

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How EMDR “Removes the Blocks”

In EMDR therapy, these blocks are called target memories — the specific memories we work to reprocess (although sometimes they are not so specific - but more on that another time).

Just like in the game of Jenga, you don’t need to remove every single block, or reprocess every memory to make the tower collapse. The goal is to focus on the most foundational pieces — the earlier, core experiences that keep the structure of distress standing.

Here’s where the metaphor takes a healing twist:

In Jenga, when the tower falls, the game is over. In trauma therapy, when the tower falls, healing begins. New patterns emerge and new beliefs about yourself ignite.

By reprocessing the “bottom” blocks — the earliest or most emotionally charged experiences — the entire tower of distress, symptoms, and dysfunctional behaviors starts to destabilize. Eventually, the whole structure topples, and what remains is relief, clarity, and integration.

The Goal: Resolution, Not Destruction

The purpose of EMDR isn’t to erase memories or remove every block from the tower. It’s to reduce the emotional charge of those experiences so they no longer hold the same power over your thoughts, automatic responses, and your emotions.

When enough of the foundation has been reprocessed, the distressing patterns naturally collapse — allowing space for new, healthier ways of thinking and feeling to take their place.

Final Thought

Your trauma tower doesn’t define you — it’s just a structure built from experiences that once felt too heavy to carry. Through EMDR, block by block, that tower can come down. And when it does, what’s left standing is you — grounded, resilient, and free.